What Do I Want in Life?

What do I want in life?  How to figure it out for yourself!

There are things you want to do in life.  Defining them enough so that you can work on achieving them can be a giant mental hurdle.  

Getting from abstract to concrete goals

Sometimes we just have a vague idea of what we want in our life.  We know we want something to change, but turning that wish into reality is confusing because we only have a vague abstract goal instead of a concrete goal.  

We may even start using other people’s goals for our own goals and wonder why we aren’t happy when we achieve them.  

It isn’t as hard as you think to figure out some goals that will take you in the direction you really want to go.

The Why Game

The best way I’ve found to get things going is playing the why game with myself.

It’s important to play it by yourself as you don’t want your fears of what others might think to cloud your answers.

It’s also important to write your answers down on paper as you go.  Although it’s good to ask and answer the questions quickly to get your gut reactions, you may want to leave them for a few days and come back and revisit them before making any final decisions.

What is the why game?

Just asking yourself why.  Over and over.  Like a three year old!

For example:

I want a dog.


I think I will like having a dog.


Because I want to have a dog in the house.


Because the dog will greet me at the door.

Why (is that important)?

Because I am so tired at the end of the day.


Because I hate my job.


Because it isn’t using my skills.

Why (are you still in this job?)?

Just continue asking why until you get to the heart!

Using the answers

Ideally playing the why game will give you some ideas of some concrete things you want to do or change in your life to make progress towards your goals.  Note that in the case above, maybe getting the dog is actually a good short term solution to feeling rotten.  Knowing why you want the dog you can pick out the right kind of dog. 

But perhaps you would rather spend some time figuring out how to get a better job so you don’t feel rotten?  A dog is a big commitment!

Knowing what you want is just one step towards developing a good goal  Check out my take on smart goals to make sure you have that goal completely clear before you head over to But I Just Don’t Know Where to Start! to learn how to take that goal and turn it into a plan you can achieve.

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